I Found this interesting, I am sure you will also do..(11 steps lawmakers take to pad the Nigerian budget)

Here are 11 steps to get rich quickly through the budget:

STEP 1. Get elected into the National Assembly –you can go
to Senate or House of Representatives. It doesn’t really
matter.

STEP 2. Be a good friend of the Speaker or Senate President,
and the respective chairpersons of appropriation
committees. That is the legislative committee that vets the
budget.

STEP 3. Think up some flimsy projects – say, boreholes to
provide water for your poor constituents. It is called
constituency project.

STEP 4. Look for a government agency or ministry that can
smuggle that project into the budget for you and lobby the
target Minister or DG. Of course the respective committee
chairman in the National Assembly must know.

STEP 5. Set up a company. Or get your spouse, brother,
sister, or loyalist to register a company that can execute
your chosen project.

STEP 6. Plead with the chairman of the Appropriation
Committee to edit the budget and include your project
under the agency or ministry that you lobbied. Because
budget figures are usually large, this may seem like adding a
cup of water to River Niger. If appropriation chairman
refuses to play, lobby the Speaker or the Senate President.

STEP 7. Say ‘aye’ on the day the budget is put up for debate.
(This step is not very critical. You can decide not to show up
and it will be bundled with the entire budget and passed.
Almost all of your colleagues are in it.)

STEP 8. After the Ministry of Finance has released funds,
approach the head of the agency to award the contract for
your project to the company in #5. Most heads may require
their share upfront. You can’t trust anyone in this business!

STEP 9. The company gets cash deposit from ministry or
agency. It is withdrawn and handed to you. You can share
with anyone that helped the process, but you’ll sure retain
the bulk of it.

STEP 10. Sink a borehole in your community with a very tiny
fraction of the money and call national TVs to come cover
the “commissioning of your constituency projects”.

STEP 11. Plan for next year.

#Author Credit: Premium Times

(Episode 3): THE JOB STORY

“ JerryOluwatosin Meyer, you attention is being requested in the inner room.”He answered but giggled a bit. “Inner room: is that where the interview is conducted?” he smiled to himself.

The interview wasn’t for too long. An hour plus and he was doing extremely well. After being asked to narrate his loss of his last job which he truthfully did, from beginning to the end. The interviewer asked him one last question.

“Are you a Christian?’’

“Of course,” Jerry responded.

“Are you sure of this, you must however know that all you have said in this room is properly documented and could be used against you at any time at all,” the interviewer stated, lowering the thick coated, gold rolled glasses that glimmered in his eyes.

“Yes, I am sir,” Jerry responded, determined to keep his faith more than the alluring job being offered.

“Okay, then” the interviewer responded. He was determined to push Jerry into a tight spot. He was searching for the best and Jerry had it all but the question mark of honesty hovered like a little demon over Jerry’s head. He felt satisfied.

“Thank you very much for being honest with us. We will get back to you next week, whether or not you are chosen for the job. Any questions?”

Jerry kept mute. “None at all, thank you sir, thank you very much sir.” With that Jerry picked his portfolio and moved out, doing well to quietly shut the door. He moved out waving to the rest as he made for the lift. It wasn’t strange to him anymore. The young lady taught him how to use the lift, so he just followed her instructions - in no time he was down on the ground floor. He waved to the receptionist passing the glass doors to the outside world.

He took the direct bus to Iyana- Ipaja. He slowly drank from the newly improved 7up bottle as he wondered what the interviewer meant by asking him if he was a real Christian. “Hope it’s not about my last job,” he muttered, slowly getting lost in his thoughts. The most important thing is that job; I can’t keep living this life in Lagos like this. The conductor’s hoarse voice jolted him to life as he counted the bus stops mentioning Agege as one. He quickly got off the bus as he walked the short distance to his not too distant home.

On getting home, he made for the shower, trying to relax and get his mind off some of the interview questions. The worst thing that could kill him for sure was worry. He made his mind to go out for a short drive and a small meal. His phone was switched off. Immediately, he turned it on. He saw his fiancee’ message. It read: 

Good afternoon, husband-to-be, how was the interview? I have called you severally. I also said a word of prayer for you. I will be coming over by 4, straight from work, don’t you dare move. Love, Kemi.

He smiled at her thoughtfulness. He felt an immediate surge of happiness as he changed his mind to prepare her favourite: Fried rice, garnished with chicken sauce, coleslaw and plantain. He set to work so he could meet the four o’ clock deadline.

Kemi walked in while he struggled to fry the last bunch of plantain that was now darkish brown instead of the conventional golden brown.

“Who is frying that burnt thing?” She knowingly quipped.

He turned around and happily scooped her in his arms. Kemi wasn’t at all short. They stood at almost the same height but he being a bit taller, he towered over her a bit due to his masculine prowess. She had eyes that lit up the flames of cupid in him and was very much like him. She differed to him from other girls due to her outstanding intellect and analytic mind, perfect communication skills and high intuition hence the foundation of their long standing relationship. He met her in his local church planning committee where she analysed the whole idea of how the 50^th anniversary be run.

Her intelligence when he mutinously drilled her out-smarted his. That was his first attraction to a lady after 11 long years. Their togetherness was confirmed after almost a year of prayer and counsel from both his pastor and hers. He had known her officially for 3 years but they became engaged the moment she was confirmed as his life partner. Soon enough, he looked to surprise her with a white wedding. All to come when he gets a job- a stable one.

“I am so sorry for being late. You know I missed you so much that I didn’t know work will close by 4 and at least an hour is needed before I get home. Forgive me, please.”

“C’mon, I am not angry. I just finished preparing dinner.”

Is it the dinner that just got burnt?” she teased him

“Not at all,” He paused as he opened the pot that was a bit transparent concealing the fried rice and he brought the bowl from the freezer with coleslaw. She beamed immediately. This time she hugged him tighter and gave a peck on the cheeks.

“I love you oko mi” 

“Solet’s get ready to eat”

They had food and drinks after which Jerry brought a desert made with ice-cream. They lovingly ate it and Jerry took time telling her about his ordeal at the interview and the last puzzling question his interviewer asked.

 ( some months later)

“Do you think they might use it against you?”said kemi

“I hope they don’t. I don’t know what I will do if I lose that job due to my track record.’

“Don’t worry, you won’t lose the job, you won’t” Come here, she called out. He came close to 

her as she let his head rest slightly above her chest cooing him slowly. “It will be fine, dear.”

“See you know what; I don’t understand,” he raised his voice. “I just don’t get it, what are you saying”

“It’s very easy, only that you fail to understand this simple deal”

“Is it a deal you call it? This is fraud! Fraud!!” Jerry exclaimed

“No itisn’t. Can’t you see how lucrative this will be for all of us? The money will be shared equally and you will have a share of it too”

“You have to give me a break to process all this”

Jerry walked out of the conference room, very angry. He got to his door, unlocked it and paced the room, wondering whether it was his destiny to keep losing. He wondered what will become of him if he agreed to this deal. Femi wasn’t wrong saying it would be lucrative and he was the only one who could help because he has always been closely linked to company finances as the best Accountant, Auditor, Finance Manager and Risk taker in the game. But this choice was difficult to make, it was similar to what cost him his job at Cusson plc several months now. At KPMG, life was terribly good. He had gotten a newer car and was about to build a new house for his parents; he just bought the land!!!

He kept on pacing the room, front to back, standard procedure when Abolore walked in.

“Oluwatosin,”Abolore started with his middle name as he always called him, “You are not alone on this, we are 20 on this deal with a lot of money. We just need you to agree- that’s all. You are our main man, join us, please,” Abolore pleaded.

“I had rather lose my job than let you steal.” Jerry moved up close to stand facing him, Do you realise that this same thing cost me a Job at Cussons and almost withdrew my certificate?

“You have no idea how it feels so don’t come up here telling what to do and please do me a favour to shut the door on your way out; I have had enough for today.”

..to be continued  in our next episode.

(inspirational): Mind blowing Michelle Obama's DNC 2016 speech!!!

I CANT JUST HELP BUT SHARE THIS...

Read the full speech below.

 Thank you all, thank you so much. It is hard to believe that it has been eight years since I first came to this convention to talk with you about why I thought my husband should be president. Remember how I told you about his character and his conviction? His decency and grace? The traits we have seen every day as he has served our country in the White House.

I also told you about our daughters, how they are the heart of our hearts, the center of our world, and during our time in the White House we have had the joy of watching them grow from bubbly little girls into poised young women.

A journey that started soon after we arrived in Washington when they set off for their first day at their new school. I will never forget that winter morning as I watched our girls, just 7 and 10 years old, pile into those black SUVs with all those men with guns. And with all their little faces pressed up against the window, and the only thing I could think was, 'What have we done?'

At that moment, I realized that our time in the White House would form the foundation of who they would become. And how well we manage this experience could truly make or break them.

That is what Barack and I think about every day as he tried to guide and protect our girls from the challenges of this unusual life in the spotlight. How we urged them to ignore those who question their father's citizenship or faith. How we insist that the hateful language they hear from public figures on TV does not represent the true spirit of this country. How we explain that when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level. Our motto is, when they go low, we go high.

With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents are the most important role-model.

Let me tell you, Barack and I take that same approach to our jobs as president and first lady because we know that our words and actions matter, not just to our girls but the children across this country. Kids who say, "I saw you on TV," "I wrote the report on you for school." Kids like the little black boy who looked up at my husband, his eyes wide with hope, and he wondered, 'Is my hair like yours?'

Make no mistake about it, this November, when we get to the polls, that is what we are deciding. Not Democrat or Republican, not left or right. In this election, and every election, it is about who will have the power to shape our children for the next four or eight years of their lives. I am you tonight because in this election, there is only one person who I trust with that responsibility, only one person who I believe is truly qualified to be president of the United States, and that is our friend Hillary Clinton.

I trust Hillary to lead this country because I have seen her lifelong devotion to our nation's children. Not just her own daughter, who she has raised to perfection, but every child who needs a champion: kids who take the long way to school to avoid the gangs. Kids who wonder how they will ever afford college. Kids whose parents don't speak a word of English, but dream of a better life; who look to us to dream of what they can be.

Hillary has spent decades doing the relentless work to actually make a difference in their lives. Advocating for kids with disabilities as a young lawyer, fighting for children's health care as first lady, and for quality child care in the senate. And when she did not win the nomination eight years ago, she did not get angry or disillusioned. Hillary did not pack up and go home because ... Hillary knows that this is so much bigger than her own disappointment. She proudly stepped up to serve our country once again as secretary of state, traveling the globe to keep our kids safe. 

There were moments when Hillary could have decided that this work was too hard, that the price of public service was too high, that she was tired of being [torn] apart for how she looked, or how she talked, or even how she laughed. But here's the thing: What I admire most about Hillary is that she never buckles under pressure. She never takes the easy way out. And Hillary Clinton has never quit on anything in her life. And when I think about the kind of president that I want for my girls and all our children, that is what I want. I want someone with the proven strength to persevere.

Somebody who knows this job and takes it seriously. Somebody who understands that the issues of our nation are not black or white. It cannot be boiled down to 140 characters. Because when you have the nuclear codes at your fingertips and the military in your command, you can't make snap decisions. You can't have thin skin or a tendency to lash out. You need to be steady and measured and well informed.

I want a president with a record of public service. Someone whose life's work shows our children that we don't chase fame and fortune for ourselves; we fight to give everyone a chance to succeed. And we give back even when we are struggling ourselves because we know that there is someone worse off. There but for the grace of God, go I. I want a president who will teach our children that everyone in this country matters.

A president that truly believes that our founders put forth all those years ago that we are all created equal, each a beloved part of the great American story. When crisis hits, we don't turn against each other, we listen to each other. We lean on each other. We are always stronger together. I am here tonight because I know that that is the kind of president Hillary Clinton will be and that is why in this election, I'm with her.

You see, Hillary understands that the presidency is about one thing and one thing only. It is about leaving something better for our kids. That is how we have always moved this country forward by all of us coming together on behalf of our children. Volunteering to coach the team, teach the Sunday school class, because they know it takes a village.

Heroes of every color and creed who wear the uniform and risk their lives to pass on those blessings of liberty; police officers and protesters in Dallas who all that really want to keep our children safe; people who lined up in Orlando to donate blood because it could have been their son, or their daughter in the club.

Leaders like Tim Kaine, who show our kids what decency and devotion look like. Leaders like Hillary Clinton, who have the guts and the grace to keep coming back and putting those cracks in the highest and hardest glass ceiling until they finally break through, lifting all of us along with her.

That is the story of this country. The story that has brought me to the stage tonight. The story of generations of people who felt the lash of bondage, the shame of servitude, the sting of segregation, who kept on striving, and hoping, and doing what needed to be done. So that today, I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. And I watch my daughters — two beautiful intelligent black young women — play with the dog on the White House lawn.

And because of Hillary Clinton, my daughters and all of our sons and daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that this country is not great. That somehow we need to make it great again. Because this right now is the greatest country on Earth.

And as my daughters set out on the world, I want a leader who is worthy of that truth, a leader worthy of my girls' promise and all of our kids' promise. A leader who will be guided every day by the love and hope and impossibly big dreams that we all have for our children.

In this election, we cannot sit back and hope that everything works out for the best, we cannot afford to be tired or frustrated or cynical. Hear me: Between now and November, we need to do what we did eight years ago and four years ago. We need to knock on every door, we need to get out every vote, we need to pour every last ounce of passion into electing Hillary Clinton as president of the United States of America. Let's get to work.

Thank you all and God bless

(18+ ) Scriptural voices BY IMISI

When I feel my heart, I hear your voice. I hear those tiny sound of my name echoing nimbly in my thought. The sound of  those moment you didn't even know how eventually you say my name in those sacred tones. Those soft tones that originates from the primal part of your brain uncontrollably.

It wasn't difficult to trace those tones to you .They were those irresistible tones that always rise me to crescendo every time we ball deep. Most especially when the modulation of intonation or the pitch in your voice hits an upper octave just as I read through those sensational scriptures written in between your legs.

Royalty I heard is a payment to an owner for the use of property, most especially when you have the type of property that wears a befitting crown. It is said that If you must come to the Royal Head, you must be loyal to His mantle of leadership and governance, You must knell and speak in soft languages... *Sigh* You amaze me with your disciplines at being consistent at all time. You speak  in languages only the soul can interpret, you shut down my entire brain completely and then take me so high I feel I travel beyond the speed of light whilst, you stay  simultaneous by assaulting me with blows from d Iron Thrones and then take me to the wet alter of love.

We often start from the eighth book of the 12 minor prophets of the Scripture from the Greek book 'Habakkuk' but then, you never liked the citations  because it says little about the functionality of the 'kuk'.  You  take me so Deep into the book of Job to complete the mission with so many temptations that put me at the edge of facing the erotic judgment of climax stated in Revelations...

#Authorcredit: IMISI #Imisiinspireseries#

(Episode2): THE JOB STORY

By now, he was done with his dressing. There would be no breakfast for him today, same as other days he went out to continue his screening. Eating wouldn’t just be a waste of precious time which he now presently lacked about to head out to Victoria Island on a busy Lagos morning, but eating will cause him anxiety, fear and even worry on his way and at the interviewer’s place. He decided against that and dropped to his knees, shielding his face with his elbows criss-crossed on the sofa. He would read the devotional for the day on his phone; thank God it was now mobile with an app. He spent some minutes praying after he stood up.

He looked himself in the mirror and re adjusted the red tie in front of his sky blue shirt and black pants. His heel clicked as he attempted a short walk in front of the mirror, camouflaging like one of those fashionistas on the Lagos runway. He picked the car keys as he dropped them again, deciding again against it.

“Of what use will a car be?” he asked himself. After all he wasn’t ready to re tell the story of his bad deeds; he resolved to take bus . He dashed out his Agege house and made do for the bus park: the one that took him to  Victoria Island.

Surprisingly, there was no traffic. He was extremely happy as he walked into KPMG alongside some applicants and workers. The building was one of the tallest sky scrapers in the area. After exchanging formalities and introducing himself, stating his mission, he was directed to the lift. The air there was tranquil. All members of the staff smiled at him, from the friendly receptionist to the least staff- cleaners, too. He was pleased and seemed very happy and poised to perform effectively. He was treated with courtesy all through and he was more convinced and assured that he will thrive in this environment as a staff too.

He stood in front of the lift waiting for someone to open it. He looked round and called for assistance. No one heard him; they were all busy with their activities, he never used a lift before and he was careful not to spoil anything. The button he pressed earlier didn’t respond.

“Hey,’’ a voice replied him, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hi,’’ He responded, showing his whitened teeth. “The lift,” he said “I need help with it.”

“Oh,” she replied and smiled beautifully, flashing a toothy smile

“You are new here, aren’t you,” She engaged him with her well-polished-American tune

“Yes, I am,” Jerry replied, not too enthusiastic with his response. “I am part of the applicants for today’s job interview,” he explained.

 She smiled again, noticing his embarrassment. “Don’t worry,” she said, “you will do well.” She pressed two buttons and the lift slowly opened. She led the way and he followed.

On reaching the tenth floor, she informed him, through their small talk, that he would be dropping one floor ahead. She had already set the lift to stop on the floor. She gave him a firm hand shake and wished him well.

Jerry walked down the passage till he got to the waiting room where he went met scores of people waiting to be interviewed. He was shocked at first and moved on to take his seat. The names were called randomly and he was lucky not to be amongst the first three called. He took his seat amongst the rest and relived his happy moment in the lift.

“ Jerry Oluwatosin Meyer, you attention is being requested in the inner room.”

 to be continued in the next episode......